January 30, 2008
It’s flashback time to 80s icons Crockett and Tubbs as the theme to Miami Vice plays to panoramic views of Miami, Florida. They even have the AI logo done up in pink & green.
Cool-in-Shades Ryan introduces us to the crazillions of people who showed up and waited in the heat. Then we are treated to sounds of Gloria Esfefan and sights of hopeful contestants.
In the audition room, Simon ogles Paula in her micro-mini George of the Jungle dress. He really should be checking out Randy’s shiny hot red shoes; they are da bomb.
First up is a pretty brunette gal named Shannon who tells us all about her life as a meat handler in her parents’ store. Obviously she is not eating any of it because she appears extremely nutrition deprived. In an extremely foul segment she demonstrates loudly how great she can belch. (They need to introduce her to nail-collecting guy.) She looks like Rachel Leigh Cook dressed for an 80s party. Unfortunately she can not sing any better than she can dress, but at least it’s good PR for her dad’s meat market. Much drama and senile denial (senial?) ensues.
Ryan reminds us that a couple of very famous boy bands came from Florida. And next we have a boy-band guy named Robbie who is in disguise as a rocker dude. He is relatively cute with the sexy long hair/beard/beanie combo and does a good version of “Simple Man” by the great Lynyrd Skynyrd. It’s cute how his fan club bombards him with silly string when he comes out with his golden ticket.
Next they show us bikini clad beach bods, then blink and it’s some thumbs-down losers with pan flutes, potty mouths and bad attitudes.
Then we are introduced to a Latin luvah named Ghaleb who looks like Antonio Banderas with a ‘fro. He is quite attractive and I want to like his singing because he seems like such a pleasant guy. The judges struggle to like him also, and semi-reluctantly put him through. Even though she tells him to tone the accent down a little bit, Paula gets a hug. “Ricky Ricardo” kisses his way down the hall and it is all kinda icky at this point.
Next we meet two big black ladies who are BFFs and they seem so genuine and so adorable that I fear they will be set up for embarrassment. (For some reason these two ladies were shown in the San Diego episode as well, and yes it is disturbing that I realize this tidbit of info.) They go into the audition room together and after much teasing about how much they love Ryan, they finally get to sing. Corliss goes first and does the “Take Five” song, singing to Randy. She is awesome! Now it’s Brittany’s turn and she is even better; she performs a flawless version of “My Guy.” The judges pronounce their undying love and affection, both gals make it through and then it’s hugs all around. THIS is why I love this show! Very much happiness ensues.
A very pretty gal with pinned-on Shirley Temple curls is up next and we can tell right away that she is the Sob Story of the evening. She is a single mom of a pretty little girl and wants to give her a better life. Her name is Suzanne and she does a decent version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Paula says that she has a sexy voice and Simon agrees; Randy adds sultry to that and she is voted through to Hollywood.
We are reminded of Jasmine Trias and the great success that she has made of her career… in the Phillipines. Because we are now introduced to the cutest AI contestant ever, a tiny gal named Ramiele, also from that nation. She sings “Natural Woman” and she is wonderful; great voice and presence and My Kid loves her Goth fingernails. Simon likens her to a hotel singer but the other two think he’s a horse’s butt. They vote her through to the next round and it’s hard to tell who is more adorable, Ramiele or her dad.
Miami is a beautiful place with equal parts freaky-looking and good-looking people. On Day Two, the judges dress to match the bright hues of the city. (Well two out of three judges do anyway.)
Next we have Sob Story #2 and it’s My Bad Dad The Sequel. Reminiscent of last night’s show, a cute gal tries to get her father’s approval. This young lady’s name is Syesha and she is beautiful but you can tell she kinda knows it. She sings an incredible version of “Freedom” and yeah she knows she’s a great singer as well. Not a lot of humility there but confidence is a good thing too, I suppose. She makes it through to the delight of her awaiting posse.
Voiceover Ryan says that “the girls are on a roll” and we get to see snippets of auditions from a lady who sings “At Last” and a Flashdance-inspired gal who performs a Rihanna song.
Even though we see a couple guys run out of the audition room with glee, we only get to hear the bad ones. The lion/skunk guy was way too much and Simon tells one guy to come back in a dress.
A tone deaf girl is next, and then it’s a very brooding guy who does a nasally “Broken Road.” Randy tries to explain how singing through your nose is bad, but the guy ain’t having none of it.
Finally we get to meet a “seasoned professional.” Her name is Julie, and a few years ago she was on a spin-off show called American Juniors. Even though Ryan was also the host of that show, he does not remember her; she is all growed up now. Julie is a more extreme version of Regina George’s BFF Karen, the moronic one. (I expect her at any minute to say that she can predict the weather with her boobs.) At first the judges are all, wow you were on American Juniors. Then when she starts singing, we are all disappointed. While she’s not howling-dog bad, she can not accept that she is not good enough. They tell her that she would make a good actress and Simon calls her precocious. Disappointment reigns and everyone is all uncomfortable now. “Overindulged” is an understatement, Simon.
Finally we are on the last audition of the evening and I spot a train wreck. This guy is dressed in all-white a'la Blondie’s “Man from Mars” in the 1980 “Rapture” video. He seems completely annoying and manic. The judges dislike him right away, and I do not understand why the editors of this show waste so much time on this guy. He is horrible and the wackiness goes on forever. I go feed the dogs and hope to heavens that it is over by the time I get back.
Wish we could have seen some of the good ones that made it through to Hollywood, but alas that is why they are called producers and I am called a blogger.
Miami Favorites:
Best Guy Singer: Robbie
Best Gal Singer: Brittany
Best Sob Story: Suzanne
Quotes:
Paula (finger in ear, ignoring Simon): “La la la la la la la…”
It’s flashback time to 80s icons Crockett and Tubbs as the theme to Miami Vice plays to panoramic views of Miami, Florida. They even have the AI logo done up in pink & green.
Cool-in-Shades Ryan introduces us to the crazillions of people who showed up and waited in the heat. Then we are treated to sounds of Gloria Esfefan and sights of hopeful contestants.
In the audition room, Simon ogles Paula in her micro-mini George of the Jungle dress. He really should be checking out Randy’s shiny hot red shoes; they are da bomb.
First up is a pretty brunette gal named Shannon who tells us all about her life as a meat handler in her parents’ store. Obviously she is not eating any of it because she appears extremely nutrition deprived. In an extremely foul segment she demonstrates loudly how great she can belch. (They need to introduce her to nail-collecting guy.) She looks like Rachel Leigh Cook dressed for an 80s party. Unfortunately she can not sing any better than she can dress, but at least it’s good PR for her dad’s meat market. Much drama and senile denial (senial?) ensues.
Ryan reminds us that a couple of very famous boy bands came from Florida. And next we have a boy-band guy named Robbie who is in disguise as a rocker dude. He is relatively cute with the sexy long hair/beard/beanie combo and does a good version of “Simple Man” by the great Lynyrd Skynyrd. It’s cute how his fan club bombards him with silly string when he comes out with his golden ticket.
Next they show us bikini clad beach bods, then blink and it’s some thumbs-down losers with pan flutes, potty mouths and bad attitudes.
Then we are introduced to a Latin luvah named Ghaleb who looks like Antonio Banderas with a ‘fro. He is quite attractive and I want to like his singing because he seems like such a pleasant guy. The judges struggle to like him also, and semi-reluctantly put him through. Even though she tells him to tone the accent down a little bit, Paula gets a hug. “Ricky Ricardo” kisses his way down the hall and it is all kinda icky at this point.
Next we meet two big black ladies who are BFFs and they seem so genuine and so adorable that I fear they will be set up for embarrassment. (For some reason these two ladies were shown in the San Diego episode as well, and yes it is disturbing that I realize this tidbit of info.) They go into the audition room together and after much teasing about how much they love Ryan, they finally get to sing. Corliss goes first and does the “Take Five” song, singing to Randy. She is awesome! Now it’s Brittany’s turn and she is even better; she performs a flawless version of “My Guy.” The judges pronounce their undying love and affection, both gals make it through and then it’s hugs all around. THIS is why I love this show! Very much happiness ensues.
A very pretty gal with pinned-on Shirley Temple curls is up next and we can tell right away that she is the Sob Story of the evening. She is a single mom of a pretty little girl and wants to give her a better life. Her name is Suzanne and she does a decent version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Paula says that she has a sexy voice and Simon agrees; Randy adds sultry to that and she is voted through to Hollywood.
We are reminded of Jasmine Trias and the great success that she has made of her career… in the Phillipines. Because we are now introduced to the cutest AI contestant ever, a tiny gal named Ramiele, also from that nation. She sings “Natural Woman” and she is wonderful; great voice and presence and My Kid loves her Goth fingernails. Simon likens her to a hotel singer but the other two think he’s a horse’s butt. They vote her through to the next round and it’s hard to tell who is more adorable, Ramiele or her dad.
Miami is a beautiful place with equal parts freaky-looking and good-looking people. On Day Two, the judges dress to match the bright hues of the city. (Well two out of three judges do anyway.)
Next we have Sob Story #2 and it’s My Bad Dad The Sequel. Reminiscent of last night’s show, a cute gal tries to get her father’s approval. This young lady’s name is Syesha and she is beautiful but you can tell she kinda knows it. She sings an incredible version of “Freedom” and yeah she knows she’s a great singer as well. Not a lot of humility there but confidence is a good thing too, I suppose. She makes it through to the delight of her awaiting posse.
Voiceover Ryan says that “the girls are on a roll” and we get to see snippets of auditions from a lady who sings “At Last” and a Flashdance-inspired gal who performs a Rihanna song.
Even though we see a couple guys run out of the audition room with glee, we only get to hear the bad ones. The lion/skunk guy was way too much and Simon tells one guy to come back in a dress.
A tone deaf girl is next, and then it’s a very brooding guy who does a nasally “Broken Road.” Randy tries to explain how singing through your nose is bad, but the guy ain’t having none of it.
Finally we get to meet a “seasoned professional.” Her name is Julie, and a few years ago she was on a spin-off show called American Juniors. Even though Ryan was also the host of that show, he does not remember her; she is all growed up now. Julie is a more extreme version of Regina George’s BFF Karen, the moronic one. (I expect her at any minute to say that she can predict the weather with her boobs.) At first the judges are all, wow you were on American Juniors. Then when she starts singing, we are all disappointed. While she’s not howling-dog bad, she can not accept that she is not good enough. They tell her that she would make a good actress and Simon calls her precocious. Disappointment reigns and everyone is all uncomfortable now. “Overindulged” is an understatement, Simon.
Finally we are on the last audition of the evening and I spot a train wreck. This guy is dressed in all-white a'la Blondie’s “Man from Mars” in the 1980 “Rapture” video. He seems completely annoying and manic. The judges dislike him right away, and I do not understand why the editors of this show waste so much time on this guy. He is horrible and the wackiness goes on forever. I go feed the dogs and hope to heavens that it is over by the time I get back.
Wish we could have seen some of the good ones that made it through to Hollywood, but alas that is why they are called producers and I am called a blogger.
Miami Favorites:
Best Guy Singer: Robbie
Best Gal Singer: Brittany
Best Sob Story: Suzanne
Quotes:
Paula (finger in ear, ignoring Simon): “La la la la la la la…”
Simon (holding Paula’s cup): “We need to check in this cup!”
Simon (to Randy): “Don’t do the what with the high tone to me!”
Simon (to a contestant): “Why did you have your finger in your ear throughout?”
Randy: “To stop the pain; to stop the pain!”
Rejected American Junior Julie: “Don’t audition for American Idol. Don’t watch the show.” (big fake smile.) Gawd, if they ever do Mean Girls 2, you are so IN.
Next week will be from Hot-lanta baby, yeah!
Simon (to Randy): “Don’t do the what with the high tone to me!”
Simon (to a contestant): “Why did you have your finger in your ear throughout?”
Randy: “To stop the pain; to stop the pain!”
Rejected American Junior Julie: “Don’t audition for American Idol. Don’t watch the show.” (big fake smile.) Gawd, if they ever do Mean Girls 2, you are so IN.
Next week will be from Hot-lanta baby, yeah!
