60s Night - Top 12 Gals

February 20, 2008

It’s the ladies turn to bring down the house. Will they thrill us or chill us? Ryan reminds us that we have the best group EVER and are we ready to play judge?

Unfortunately a bad flu bug has been making the rounds and some of the gals have been sick. This explains the couple of empty chairs in the sideline cheering section last night.

We have to fill two hours again tonight; half that minus commercials (isn’t it weird how TV shows are kinda like paychecks in the way that you can expect about 35% of it to be wasted?)

Ryan tells the gals to pop a cough drop cuz the show must go on! Then it’s an overview of Randy-isms and we notice that Paula and little Danny have the same hair stylist.

Simon reminds us that he really does like it when contestants sass him, and confirms that the name of the universe from which he’s from is “Hmmm?” (Just a reminder that the fans watching do NOT like back-talk and the votes reflect that.)

Quick takes of twelve journeys by twelve ladies thus far … then as Alexandrea says “are you freaking serious??” … we are off to the first layer of Ford and iTunes and Coke.

The first gal performing is Kristy Lee Cook and it’s a good thing that she’s already had enough airplay to form a fan base. Spot One is the only number one that that is NOT of the good on this show. During her video she talks about having to sell her horse to go to the audition in Philly. We need to start a fund-raiser to get that horse back for that girl! Show of hands? If she were on Deal or No Deal, Howie would get it back for her. But I digress, because now Kristy is singing “Rescue Me” by someone who did it before Linda Ronstadt did it better. Kristy is no Linda and not singing very well at all. She’s very pretty in the Felicity Porter/Peyton Sawyer way of carefree casualness. While she is performing, David C. breaks Contestant Rule #12: Do not sit sullenly on the sidelines while a co-contestant is performing. It’s just rude. Randy and Paula feel sorry for Kristy as she has been sick and shaky and probably needs to be hooked up to IVs or something. Simon says so what to the whole “I’m sick” thing; he is already tired of hearing it and so are we. Kristy takes it in stride and needs to go lie down now. Ryan goes all Monk-like in his attempt to not get near her germs.

Joanne Borgella, the plus-sized model, is next and she talks about how most people are surprised that she has a mellow voice vs. a big-diva voice. Tonight she doesn’t have much of a voice at all on “I Say a Little Prayer,” bless her heart. My Kid and I notice that she has the most beautiful skin we have ever seen and wonder if Mo’Nique hooked her up with a good cosmetic line back when she won that contest. And Joanne is wearing a gorgeous fitted blouse and we speculate if this is perchance one of her own designs? Well, we have to talk about SOMETHING beacuse as this song says, it goes on and on forever and ever. What happened to the days when they had like, 90 seconds each? Randy and Paula are once again sympathetic and understanding of the bubonic plague that is making the rounds, but they did not love the performance. To random boos, Simon plays the “cabaret” card. Joanne’s dad is in the audience probably wondering, where is that hit man that the McPhees hired a couple years ago? During Ryan banter, Joanne is articulate and tired and classy. Love her, but she is in danger after tonight.

Next, Ryan sits on the couch with Luke & Laura Spencer’s daughter, (no wait, it’s Alaina Whitaker) who says that Thursday (vote off night) is her birthday so don’t let her down, ‘k? We are reminded in her video that at her initial try-out she was told by Simon that she was “not as good as she thinks she is” and how she said “shoot” to Simon and now all her friends are teasing her about it. Lulu, darn it, I mean Alaina, takes the stage and we are distracted by the fact that she is missing half of her shirt. Then a strange thing happens; she can SING her 16-year-old fanny off! Girl is rocking “More Today than Yesterday” and yes, that one was done last night by one of the guys. The 60s catalog must have been about ten pages, as usual. Here is a gal that I did not want to like, but she is the best singer so far. Randy says that he’s like “what??” and Paula compares her to Diana Ross. Simon says he hates the song, WTH is it? Which is weird since we heard it just last night from Chikezie (no last name) Eze. But Simon likes Alaina and she is sailing through to the next round. For no good reason, now we are subjected to Judges Gone Wild Part 27. Hopefully after tonight the Alaina/Carrie comparisons will end, since this chick actually has a personality.

The rocker chick we love, Amanda Overmyer is up next. In her video she talks about her car accident and how she is now the joke of her family: “if a semi-truck can’t take her down nothing else will.” She sadly promises not to do anymore Janis Joplin songs which is lame, because she does Janis better than Janis did. Tonight she rocks it right away with “Baby, Please Don't Go,” which is a funky blues song but somewhat repetitive. Can’t understand most of the words she is singing, as Ricky and the band are drowning her out a little bit. My Hubby and Kid and I are ecstatic over Amanda anyway; she’s still our favorite of the girls, just on principle. Randy loves the song, the scatting, and the patchwork pants. Paula ensures her that she is NOT a “one trick pony” and loves everything about her. Simon agrees with the Amanda-loving but adds “at some stage you've got to come out and prove what a great singer you are.” Amanda is like, I don’t give a fast $%^&, so whatever. She is witty and laid-back and original and we don’t care if she wins American Idol or not; we want to buy her concert tickets right now. Very funny how they have to explain scatting to Simon and laugh and laugh and laugh. One of the “you had to watch it yourself” moments. Ryan takes glee that Amanda is probably the only contestant who could kick Simon’s butt.

Up next is Amy Davis, who talks about being a trade show model and grad student and how being on AI was like “100 Christmases for a six-year-old girl.” Tonight she starts out rough on “Where the Boys Are” and it just goes downhill from there. Want to know where the boys are, Amy? They are all on Google, looking for the bikini photos from your “trade show” modeling days. She has an elegant hairdo but is shaky and nervous and more than likely one of the gals that was sick this week. But bless her heart, she can't carry a tune in a 5 gallon bucket with a lid. Randy and Paula blame everything except her bad voice, but go on and on forever about how pretty she looks. Simon agrees with the “pretty” part but warns her that she might get voted off tomorrow. She’ll need to count on those enthralled teenaged boy votes. At least once AI is over, she can help her look-alike Cameron get back to the business of saving John Connor and the future of mankind!

Now we are on to Random Blonde Girl number 8,675,309, Brooke White, the nanny. She reminds us in her video that she is the one that Simon promised to “bring to the dark side” to which she said “I dare you” to SIMON COWELL!! Brooke is lovely but from the Ally McBeal/Helen Gamble school of skinny that brings to mind war camps and those Christian Children’s Fund infomercials. This evening she sings “Happy Together,” another repeat-o song that rocker David did last night. Brooke is pleasant enough I suppose in a Natasha Bedingfield kinda way. She does the weird “my head, my head!” thing during the “bah bah bah” part of the song. Randy reminds her that she did good but she needed to SLAY it, she needs to get her SLAYING on. He has to explain to Simon (and Brooke) that slaying is not what Buffy did for seven seasons to vampires and random demons. It’s about KILLING a song; okay we think we got it. Simon goes on and on about happiness and yellow sunshine and then for some reason it turns into a Joy “washing up liquid” commercial, lemon scented. This show SLAYS me sometimes. Brooke is too mature for this silly contest and everyone knows it. Quick shot of her mom and hubby in the audience; Mr. White is a hunk. So Brooke is in a win-win situation here, yellow sunshine be danged.

Now we have the teen with the cute great-granny, Alexandrea Lushington. For a mere child she seems very mature and articulate in her video. Tonight she looks totally different from how we have seen her so far – gone are the army jackets and ball caps. She is rocking on “Spinning Wheel” also referred to as the “What Comes Up Must Come Down” song. She looks like you expect a teenage kid to look; hot-pink headband and sneakers, decorated tee shirt, one dangling peace sign earring, suspenders. Okay maybe the suspenders are from grandpa’s closet. No matter, she is fun and fabulous and her voice is not pitch perfect but overall she does a great job. Randy and Paula think so too and give her props and kudos, especially for the “dope” outfit. Simon plays the “I didn’t get it” card, in spite of how Alexandrea exhibits the “relevant” that he has expounded over and over. Alexandrea corrects Ryan on the mispronunciation of her name and he’s like, oh snap! Alexandrea breaks Contestant Rule #14: Don’t read the cue cards along with Ryan. It’s just silly. Nice to see some personality from “Miz Alex” though, so we’ll give her a pass this time.

Next up is Kristy again. No wait, it’s Alaina. Oh, it’s the gal that does the cool Britney Spears impression. Yeah! It’s Kady Malloy and she is funny in her video talking about her “obsession” with music and oh how I can relate to that. They show her backstage during Hollywood week doing the Britney and it’s so dead-on it’s creepy. She promises that she does have her own voice, thank-you-very-much. Unfortunately she is NOT bringing it on “A Groovy Kind of Love,” as she is listless and sad and obviously one of the endless Sick Girls Club members. For me, this is a Phil Collins song from the 80s but it must have been done before as this is 60s night. Randy is disappointed that Kady did not bring to the stage the funny, exciting girl that we saw in the video. Paula tells her how pretty she looks and Kady’s ‘tude is like yeah I know, right? Simon says that it was like Night of the Living Dead and critiques her for a thousand years. If looks could kill he’d be dead between the glares from Kady and Her Random Friend From the Audience. Somebody please cue the STHU music, stat! Ryan doesn’t make friends with Kady either but he’s just there to ask the questions, so back off Terminator Barbie!

Moving on, thank holy God, to Asia’h Epperson. For those who have been living in a cave for the past five weeks, she is the one whose father died while she was at the AI audition in Atlanta. Okay we got it. This is going to be one of those tales-of-woe that they never ever stop talking about. Since Amanda was the one who signed the No Janis pact, this does not apply to Asia’h who does an R&B version of “Piece of My Heart.” Actually, in her version it’s “Piece of My R.” Remember when Carrie sang the Faith Hill version of this song in season four? Ah, memories. Anyways, Asia’h is pretty and stylish and looks the part of a soul/pop diva. Her earrings look like they weigh more than she does. The judges have put their Grudge Match on hold as they are all in (gasp) agreement that Asia’h is the bomb. Simon is excited to pronounce her performance as his “favorite of the night” and while I still do not think she is the strongest singer, her enthusiasm surely is infectious. There is no question that she is genuinely adorable.

Ramiele Malubay is up next and we are reminded that she is the tiny Filipino gal who works in a sushi restaurant. Every time we see her, My Kid and I start singing the beginning of the Destiny’s Child song from Charlie’s Angels, “Lucy Liu… and my girl Drew.” (Probably one of those things that makes sense to only us.) Tonight Ramiele sings “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” and for the first time since Amanda, My Hubby is excited about a contestant. Ramiele reminds us of a James Bond girl for some reason. Her version of this song could definitely be the theme for the next 007 movie. She has a marvelous voice without going over the top with the vocal. Randy tells her she was “very classy, almost like a pro” and Simon reminds her that although he did not like her at first, she’s grown on him. Then Ryan comes up to talk about fashion and shoes. “Oh Ryan!” indeed. They are really cool shoes though. And Ryan just has to love her; she makes him look like a basketball player.

Next on the red couch, Ryan talks to Syesha Mercado, who for no apparent reason is sitting on her knees. Just for that, it’s points off for this girl. She just rubs me wrong and has from day one. We are reminded that she lost her voice during Hollywood week, oh pitiful her. Hopefully her flash cards are still lying around somewhere so she can share them with the others from the Sick Girls Club that she’s avoiding. So last year when Phil Stacey sang “Tobacco Road,” remember that? Of course you do, it was one of his better performances. Only bringing that up because Syesha is singing that song tonight and I have to give her props for getting all rock-n-rolly with it. Not used to seeing the sista-gyrls rock out like that. Still don’t understand why they need scarves on the inside of a building in California. Can someone with fashion sense explain that to me please? My Kid says it’s the STYLE, mom. Anyway the judges love her all the way from Tobacco Road and back, but I still ain’t feeling it. Paula does a strange Tourettes-like “Joyful! Fun! Big!” and reminds her of the YES in her name. When Syesha just smiles and doesn’t speak, she’s not so bad.

The coveted “pimp spot” of the evening goes to Carly Smithson, and why not? For the last person on the continent who does not already know this, Carly is a second-chance at stardom contestant. A few years ago, she released an album, it was a notorious flop, label folded, yada yada. Can we all just get over this now? Tonight she sings a song I have never heard before, something called “Shadow of Your Smile.” It is slow and kinda coma-inducing but her voice is good, borderline excellent. Not understanding why she is wearing a maternity top but it’s okay; the better to cover the tattoos. She looks pretty tonight albeit she could use some volumizing conditioner. Randy pronounces her the “best vocal of the Top 24,” to which we say Huh? Paula goes on and on with giddiness as well, but then Simon… well sometimes we thank God for Simon. He brings up the hype and the high expectations and how she did not live up to it. Carly looks crestfallen but takes the criticism well. My Kid mentions that she reminds her of the lady in Nightwish but I have no clue who that is so will have to ask my good friend Google. Funny how Paula and Randy give lessons in mic holding to Simon.

Recap time and although I was not keeping tabs, several of the gals broke Contestant Rule #8: Do not hold on to the microphone for dear life. Death grips are not attractive.

Quotes of the evening:

Ryan: “I hope the semi truck driver is out there watching and voting for you, so…”
Amanda: “Yeah, sorry for pulling out in front of you dude, like seriously; I didn’t mean to.”
Ryan: “Her bad.”

Simon: “I presume that you are going to be really nice throughout this competition?”
Brooke: “Is that … okay … with you?”
Simon: “Not really, no.”

Best vocal of the evening is begrudgingly, Alaina. Best overall performance though, definitely Amanda.

Prediction to go home: Amy for sure; maybe Joanne unfortunately. Who knows, the Random Blondes may cancel each other out. Tomorrow will tell…