February 5, 2008
Post-Superbowl Ryan tells us that 3 previous Idol contestants have come from the prior Atlanta auditions – Clay, Fantasia, and Dream Girl Jennifer.
An adorable little boy says “welcome to E-lanta” and we’re off…As Charlie Daniels’ classic “The Devil Went down to Georgia” fiddles in the background, Voiceover Ryan talks about this latest trip to the deep south.
Quick shots of old folks, outlandish people, and flaming Prince wannabes. Ryan says that the “hoe down is starting early.”
Ryan is back in his hometown, so we have a Meet the Parents moment with his mom and dad. Along with a crazy “fan” and that’s doubly literal. It’s the parade of nuttiness.
First guy up is a glass worker named Joshua who claims he loves his job, he really does and nothing will change that. *Crash.* He does a weird version of a Queen song and Simon says to please STOP with the demonic eyes. Josh tries but he just can’t seem to get to a place called Normal. They ask him to sing with his back to them, and while his singing is not the worst howling-dog we’ve ever heard, it’s still a bit frightening. Simon plays the karaoke card but for some strange reason Randy and Paula vote the guy through.
Next up, a Britney look-alike and friend talk about being in Hot-lanta. Then we see a feeble-looking little guy in a pink tee shirt who reminisces about being at the season 4 auditions. He was in the actual same room with Carrie and man he wishes that they had kept in touch. His name is J.P. and he sings a Rascal Flatts song in a Broadway way and it’s distressing. Sadder to learn that he’s a Music major. Randy advises him to stick to composition and they send him on his way.
Now to the background of Oklahoma’s “I Cain’t Say No,” it’s make-fun-of-Paula time. We are treated to clips of Paula’s loopier AI7 moments because we just can’t get enough of those. I decide to watch her youtube Superbowl performance again instead of this montage. “La la la la la la” indeed.
A very gorgeous gal named Asiah is up next and she is this evening’s true Heartbreak Story. Her father died in a car accident two days ago and she is holding on by a thread. As a tribute to her dad she sings “How Do I Live” by Lee Ann Rimes (and in my opinion done better by Trisha Yearwood.) But no matter, the gal sings great although it sounds like she may have a cold. The judges love her as they should, and it’s both tears and joy when she tells her awaiting friends that she has made it through to the next round. The guys try to comfort Paula, who cries empathetic tears for Asiah.
To torture us, we are subjected to pretty but asinine blondes who ramble to the camera the extent of their adorableness.
Which leads us to a crown-wearing oh-too-cute beauty-pageant-winning Barbie Doll. Her name is Brooke and after five minutes of her talking about God and dancing like a Girls Gone Wild reject, I really want to not like her. It is rather obvious that the judges don’t want to like her either but she has an incredibly good voice. Darn it. Then it’s hugs all around and she almost loses her strapless top in the process. After she bounces out of the room, Simon says that she’s the “most annoying person” that he has ever seen.
The song “Glamourous” takes a beating from the next few contestants who can’t spell, can’t sing and can’t dress worth one blacked-eyed pea. Included in this montage is Rerun, Buckwheat and Snoop Dogg. And one gal who looks like last year’s Hot Legs Haley. Hide yer eyes, kiddies.
Ryan waxes philosophical about southern hospitality and then introduces us to the Forrest Gump of this evening’s episode. Well, if Forrest was a young black woman named Eva. She really does seem to be putting on while singing a Vanessa Carlton song, especially when she falls on her butt. She swears that she really does love Simon and her performance is not a joke! The next few seconds fall into the category of Extra Dextra Creepy and everyone is Very Uncomfortable now. At least at my house anyways. “And that’s what I think about that.” *Stomp stomp.*
Post-Superbowl Ryan tells us that 3 previous Idol contestants have come from the prior Atlanta auditions – Clay, Fantasia, and Dream Girl Jennifer.
An adorable little boy says “welcome to E-lanta” and we’re off…As Charlie Daniels’ classic “The Devil Went down to Georgia” fiddles in the background, Voiceover Ryan talks about this latest trip to the deep south.
Quick shots of old folks, outlandish people, and flaming Prince wannabes. Ryan says that the “hoe down is starting early.”
Ryan is back in his hometown, so we have a Meet the Parents moment with his mom and dad. Along with a crazy “fan” and that’s doubly literal. It’s the parade of nuttiness.
First guy up is a glass worker named Joshua who claims he loves his job, he really does and nothing will change that. *Crash.* He does a weird version of a Queen song and Simon says to please STOP with the demonic eyes. Josh tries but he just can’t seem to get to a place called Normal. They ask him to sing with his back to them, and while his singing is not the worst howling-dog we’ve ever heard, it’s still a bit frightening. Simon plays the karaoke card but for some strange reason Randy and Paula vote the guy through.
Next up, a Britney look-alike and friend talk about being in Hot-lanta. Then we see a feeble-looking little guy in a pink tee shirt who reminisces about being at the season 4 auditions. He was in the actual same room with Carrie and man he wishes that they had kept in touch. His name is J.P. and he sings a Rascal Flatts song in a Broadway way and it’s distressing. Sadder to learn that he’s a Music major. Randy advises him to stick to composition and they send him on his way.
Now to the background of Oklahoma’s “I Cain’t Say No,” it’s make-fun-of-Paula time. We are treated to clips of Paula’s loopier AI7 moments because we just can’t get enough of those. I decide to watch her youtube Superbowl performance again instead of this montage. “La la la la la la” indeed.
A very gorgeous gal named Asiah is up next and she is this evening’s true Heartbreak Story. Her father died in a car accident two days ago and she is holding on by a thread. As a tribute to her dad she sings “How Do I Live” by Lee Ann Rimes (and in my opinion done better by Trisha Yearwood.) But no matter, the gal sings great although it sounds like she may have a cold. The judges love her as they should, and it’s both tears and joy when she tells her awaiting friends that she has made it through to the next round. The guys try to comfort Paula, who cries empathetic tears for Asiah.
To torture us, we are subjected to pretty but asinine blondes who ramble to the camera the extent of their adorableness.
Which leads us to a crown-wearing oh-too-cute beauty-pageant-winning Barbie Doll. Her name is Brooke and after five minutes of her talking about God and dancing like a Girls Gone Wild reject, I really want to not like her. It is rather obvious that the judges don’t want to like her either but she has an incredibly good voice. Darn it. Then it’s hugs all around and she almost loses her strapless top in the process. After she bounces out of the room, Simon says that she’s the “most annoying person” that he has ever seen.
The song “Glamourous” takes a beating from the next few contestants who can’t spell, can’t sing and can’t dress worth one blacked-eyed pea. Included in this montage is Rerun, Buckwheat and Snoop Dogg. And one gal who looks like last year’s Hot Legs Haley. Hide yer eyes, kiddies.
Ryan waxes philosophical about southern hospitality and then introduces us to the Forrest Gump of this evening’s episode. Well, if Forrest was a young black woman named Eva. She really does seem to be putting on while singing a Vanessa Carlton song, especially when she falls on her butt. She swears that she really does love Simon and her performance is not a joke! The next few seconds fall into the category of Extra Dextra Creepy and everyone is Very Uncomfortable now. At least at my house anyways. “And that’s what I think about that.” *Stomp stomp.*
A very sweet ninety-something lady cozies to Ryan while her great granddaughter Alexandrea auditions for the judges. Alexandrea does “My Funny Valentine” and is like a teenaged Mindy Doo; she’s awesome. She makes it to Hollywood; Ryan and granny high five and I just adore him right now. Lots of family members are there to share the happy moment.
A trip down memory lane reminds us (again) that Clay was discovered in Atlanta. We are treated to painful auditions of guys who are bad beyond the telling of it, then it’s female tears and dramatic moments.
A teenaged boy named Nathan is up next so I call out to My Kid to come check him out. I need her to tell me if he is cute or not because I really do not know. He is somewhat droll and funny during his camera time but his singing is unfortunately bad. My Kid loves the rock song he attempts but agrees his singing is not up to par, not even for this hot metal mess. Nathan does exactly what he promised he wouldn’t – he argues with Simon. “Not funny, can’t sing” are true words spoken by the cocky Brit.
Last year we had a rocker/dental hygienist and this year it’s a rocker/biker/nurse. My Kid loves her two-toned hair, probably because she has a similar hairstyle. Actually this chick, Amanda, looks a bit like my daughter, if she wore two tons of make up. She sings Janis Joplin but Simon asks her not to do the “put on voice,” so she morphs into another song and does much better. Both My Hubby and My Kid like Amanda and the judges put her through after much raving. Paula says she could be the female Chris Daughtry.
We are nearing the end of the day and everyone has been taking their happy pills. We see ecstatic shots of contestants who made it through but for some reason they decide not to let us hear any of them.
Instead we are introduced to the “next on Maury” piece of the evening, “the little boy who lives in his car.” His name is Josiah (NOT Joshua) and is an 18-year-old cute blond runaway. He sings an odd song that he wrote and has a weird vibrato to his voice. The judges ask him what is up with the strange British accent. I personally think he sounds horrid but since so much time has been wasted, er invested in his segment it would be a shame to put him back in his car and send him home. Oops, I mean to his car. (Ow, My Kid just frogged me for being so insensitive.)
Voiceover Ryan says that 19 hopefuls from Atlanta made it through, and we see about 15 seconds of pretty people jumping up and down and hugging Ryan. We don’t get to hear them though, which is the consistent complaint on Aunt Pearl’s blog so far this season.
Tomorrow night’s show promises to be goofier, sexier and whoops my DVR runs out. Time now to see if Cutthroat Beyotch is really back; say it ain’t so Dr. House.
Atlanta’s best:
Guy Singer: NONE (that we saw tonight)
Gal Singer: Amanda
Story of Woe: Asiah
Quotes:
Paula: “Is it legal to strangle a Brit?”
Simon: “You torture these contestants, Paula.”
Contestant Brooke: “I just said do do American Idol.”
Simon (to a contestant named Nathan): “Do you want to be a smarta$$ or do you want to listen?” (I would chose being a smarta$$ but that’s just me.)
