“Forever’s Going to Start Tonight” for the Top 10

March 25, 2008

The countdown to the finale has begun. Hard to believe we are already down to ten…

Has anyone noticed that the female cyborg “contestant” in the opening looks a bit like Carly? No ‘tat though, yay.

Ryan gives a shout out to the crowd, and I can’t help but think how awesome it would be to actually be there in the audience. It’s probably even better than the 3D SpongeBob Theater at Carowinds.

Raymond’s brother and his new TV wife are in the audience, all the better to pimp their new sitcom. They’ve got to do something because it’s just not that good, sorry.

Ryan sure is dressing better this season, but he still does not look anything like that cover of Details magazine. He introduces the judges as “superstars” which makes Randy smile. Poor Paula has been borrowing from The Go-Gos’ closet again. TMZ’s BFF Simon is showing some manly chest and looks like he just got up from a nap.

The top 10 contestants are brought onto the stage to massive cheering. I can not help but wonder - did the stylists go on strike?? Tonight’s theme is “songs from the year you were born,” which means from ’83 and up. They will also tell more about themselves and their childhood in the pre-sing video.

First up is Ramiele who talks about her baby ‘fro. What a beautiful baby! She reminisces about getting in trouble when she was a kid and they interview her adorable parents also. Singing was the turnaround that Ramiele needed to change her life. Tonight she wants to prove that she deserves to be in the top 10 and is singing the oft’ performed “Alone” by Heart. As always, her outfit is a mess. She looks like a college girl stopping in to do karaoke in between Drama 101 and study hall. Again, I am addled at the whereabouts of the stylists, especially for Rami. After hearing Carrie do the Heart song so well a few years ago it is hard not to make the inevitable comparison. Carly did it better during the Hollywood rounds this year as well. Ramiele does okay but not great; she is shaky throughout. Good thing the band sounds incredible and the backup singers carry her. Randy and Paula blame the sickness that is going around. Paula seems to have it too; she has the Darth Vader voice. Simon comes to Ramiele’s defense saying what all of us already know: she is a shoo-in to the finals no matter what she sings or how poorly. He pronounces it wasn’t as bad as Randy says, which delights Ryan into having a dissing Randy moment. If Rami does make it through, please for the love of holy heaven, someone find her some better clothes.

Jason is up next and too bad My Kid is not here tonight to watch the show with me. He talks about being an Aries but he’s not sure what that means. Today is his birthday; he’s a mere 21, sigh. He was the cutest kid and although he was not born with dreadlocks, his eyes were always really pretty. They show footage of Jason and his brother as kids jamming on toy guitars. His mom talks about how annoying it was, but you can tell his parents are proud of him now. Tonight he sits on a stool with his guitar to sing “Fragile,” a song by Sting that I don’t remember hearing before. He sounds pleasant and simple and easygoing just like he always does. Much more comfortable than last week, and our boy proves he can turn a Spanish phrase. The song doesn’t really go anywhere though, and I feel like someone should be bringing me a French vanilla cappuccino anytime now. Randy says it was nice but not great. Paula echoes that, adds that she loves Sting and that Jason is staying true to who he is. Simon warns him that he is not taking this show seriously and compares him to a street singer. He didn’t even like the way he played the guitar this time. “Too laid back and too much in your own world” and he’s right. Ryan tries to get a rise out of Jason but he just smiles and says dude yeah uhhh. It’s all about scoring chicks anyway man, right brah?

Next up is Syesha who talks about being a crybaby when she was a kid and does that baby cry impression again. Her mom talks about how she really was a handful and a diva from the very beginning. I wonder if she made flash cards with her? Syesha also tells us about the gold medals she won with her dance team and the tight aerobic costumes they wore. She proclaims to still be a kid, and I say good for her. Tonight she is singing “If I Were Your Woman,” and her hair is unfortunately back in ‘fro mode. She starts the song very nicely although somewhat cookie-cutter. And yep it’s another loving-a-married-man tune and even though it’s not a Whitney song, she goes full-on Ms. Houston with it. The high notes make it interesting and believable, and all in all it’s a good performance. Randy says it was the best he ever heard her sing. Syesha does the fake southern accent again which annoys me to no end. Paula says she flipped it and in her “I’ve got a cold” voice, calls her a dark horse. (Before the end of the night I want her to say “Luke I am your father.”) Simon didn’t like the end of the song, and when he says there is a limit to her vocal, she’s like oh no you din’t, you better recognize! Ryan tells her she was great but seems a little bit scared of her right now. Syesha gives the Xena-like vibe despite the beaming smile.

Chikezie gets the stool with Ryan and waxes philosophical about ballads and getting ripped a new one for doing them. His jacket and shirt do not match. On his vid, he talks about his birthday which is September 11th; bet his sixteenth birthday sucked. His mom talks about his childhood and the first time he sang “Stand by Me.” Her enthusiasm is very infectious, and I just realized that the moms have done most the talking so far in the vids. Tonight Chikezie is singing “If Only for One Night” which puts him back in Luther mode. This is a nice song for him and he sings it well, barely missing a note. We have grown to expect so much more energy from him though. Velveeta-like how he shakes hands with the mosh pit girls. Overall his performance is good but I am not jumping out my chair like his mom. Randy plays the old school card and says it wasn’t hip and cool. He also does a totally unnecessary comparison of Chi and Syesha. Paula acknowledges he’s a throwback and liked his rendition. Simon says he sang well but did a cheesy performance. Mouthy Chi is back and staring daggers, which is never a good idea. Simon and Randy agree that they miss his exuberant personality from previous weeks. I adore this guy and hope that he sticks around longer. His face looks so crestfallen that I feel bad for him. Awww Chi!

Everyone’s favorite nanny, Brooke is next and she gets teary in her video talking about her family. Her gorgeous mom talks about how impressed she was when Brooke learned to play the piano on her own. Brooke really is all about family and her pride in them shines through. At the piano tonight, she sings the stalker song “Every Breath You Take” by The Police. This is one of my least favorite songs, even before it was made into the anthem for that dead rapper guy. (It peeves me when an artist “samples” another singer’s work, even with permission.) At any rate, Brooke has a misstart but gets right back on track and recovers seamlessly. She is definitely the most mature and professional performer in the competition this year. Her hair looks good flattened and straightened but doesn’t fit her personality as well. Her black dress is pretty in a church secretary kinda way; she is a lovely young lady and her modesty is very refreshing. I like everything about Brooke as a matter of fact, especially the silver high heels. Randy mentions the start-over and says her gig was just a’ight. Paula likes it better than last week and reminds her that she has her own niche. Simon thinks that she should have ditched the band and stuck with the piano solo throughout. Thankfully she is not overly chatty tonight even during Ryan time.

Quick shot to the audience reveals that terminator Cameron is back from the future; no wait, it’s her look-alive Amy Davis, the first female ejectee from this year’s top 24.

After the break, we are told about the Design Your Own Coke Cup contest. Ryan reminds us of the perils of live television when he completely pours drink all over himself. Poor little metro guy, he is so freaking out right now while a bemused Simon and zappy Paula look on in both dismay and glee.

In his video, Michael borrows one of Ace Young’s beanies as he talks about being a well- balanced Libra. His mother says that he was very competitive as a child. Michael loved tennis until age 15, when music found him. Good for him and good for us. Tonight he finally reveals the tuff stuff he’s made of. He starts out the Queen anthem “We Will Rock You” and quickly goes into “We are the Champions.” I loved these songs in high school; they were played at every single ballgame and pep rally. Although Michael is no Freddie, that’s okay because no one is. Michael holds his own and does an ab fab job with the song; even the backdrop lighting is wondrous. He looks great too, although why he borrowed a vest from the grandpa collection is a mystery. The crowd does not want to stop cheering; they are as glad as we are that Mr. Johns has at last had his moment. Randy gets to tell him that finally Michael believes in himself and gave his best performance. Paula agrees that it was his shining moment and we can all shut our mouths now. Simon says he saw star potential for the first time and further states that it was the only memorable performance of the evening so far. Ryan looks so tiny next to Michael as he says to visualize winning to this stadium song. Mike’s vest would so totally go better with the outfit Ryan is wearing.

Carly is a Virgo like me, just another reason to like her, heh. She talks about how she likes to read and is very articulate. Her beautiful mom explains that she named her daughter after Carly Simon who was playing on the radio when she was on the way to the hospital. Tonight Carly sings one of my favorite 80s songs, the angst-fest “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Who can forget the video with Bonnie Tyler in the creepy mansion with all the other weird inhabitants? They made really symbolic music videos back in the day. While Carly’s version is just as good as the original, vocal-wise, she seems overwrought tonight. The back-up singers are good but it would have sounded better with a guy doing the “turn around bright eyes” part. Carly looks pretty but tense and somewhat on the edge. The last couple notes go way into Star Search screecher territory, although the audience seems to love it. Randy didn’t like the note at the end and didn’t think it was the right song for her. Paula totally disagrees and says that Carly can sing anything and convince Paula to go buy it. Simon picks up on the tension during the performance, and every molecule from Carly seems to scream “I was in the B3 last week you twit!” Ryan manages to get a smile and even a giggle out of the lovely Irish lass, so hopefully all is well.

Ryan chats with Disney David about missing “normal” school routines, especially the dances. He reluctantly talks about the possibility of going to the prom with the cute girl who is sitting next to his ball-capped dad. In his video, David talks about his large family, and the pictures show that he was always a cutie patootie. His mother talks about how much everyone loves him in spite of his bad dancing that they show in the home movies. Tonight he is singing a song that I don’t recognize at first until My Hubby says that it’s a Heart song. Actually Heart did a cover of “You’re the Voice” but David is doing the version by some Australian guy. Since I adore tiny David I want to like everything he does, but this is way too Disney-theme-parkish. I expect Mickey and Minnie to come out on stage for the finale of this Up With People-like song. Randy and Paula don’t recognize the tune but Randy says DD has mad skills. Paula nags that an American composer would have been nice, but Archie can sing the phone book and it would be great. (How exactly does one sing the phone book anyway? I have often wondered about that very thing.) Simon says exactly what I did, that he expected Disney characters to pop up any moment. He goes on to state that he didn’t think David chose that song for himself. Could the stage dad rumors be true then?

Commercials – I love Jack Black, especially in School of Rock but why is he doing a cell phone ad?? Must be some good moola in that biz.

Our favorite cowgirl Kristy is next and she is very endearing in her video, talking about how she was born smiling. Her parents reveal she started singing when she was two, and sang in the car all the time when they traveled. In a very strategic move, tonight she is singing the Lee Greenwood classic “God Bless the USA.” Clever girl our cage fighter. She knows she is near ‘bout to the end of her AI experience and is milking this for all it’s worth. We all know that she can sing “Amazing Grace” well, and can now add this to the short list of songs done well by KLC. Randy mentions pitchiness but says it was good, especially for her. Paula says that she has heard her do better (like when Paula?) and echoes the pitch issues. Simon says it was her best performance by a mile, to Kristy’s delight. He calls her on the total BS of song choice; she’s not pulling the wool over his veddy British eyes. Like anyone in America is going to vote her off after that show of patriotism. The more I think about this, the more contrived it seems. After all, she is a country singer who has already recorded an album, so why not do a girl country song tonight? There are a ton of them to choose from in 1984; I remember because it was the year I got married. Anyway, Ryan rightfully says that KLC is beaming and why shouldn’t she? She is still right up there on that stage.

For no apparent reason, Ryan introduces Rocker David from the audience. Dave says that when he was a baby, his large forehead looked like a Marvel Comics character. That comment made me like him ten times more. His mom talks about when he first started playing the guitar as a cute little boy in his short shorts. Tonight he is rocking out on the emo version of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.” I am glad that Ryan mentioned that Dave is doing the Chris Cornell take on this song, but let’s hope it’s not as high-strung as that interpretation. He starts off gently and his voice is excellent, better than ever. Just as we get used to restrained Dave, he kicks it into overdrive and gives me chills with the power notes. Wow for a thousand years; My Kid does not know what she’s missing tonight with her fave guys. And there is no evidence of MJ in this “joint,” thank goodness. Somehow by doing a “cover of a cover” of a classic, Mr. Cook has turned this song into his very own and it works. Randy tells Dave that it’s molten hot and he could win the whole lot. (Again, Randy with the poetry.) Paula is still in standing-ovation mode and mumbles something, not sure if she even knows what she’s saying at this point. Simon tells him that his performance was brave and amazing, and Dave totally loses his stuff. He is happy, Ryan is happy, and so are we.

Recap time… Thankfully there was something good about each performance tonight; no one was howling-dog bad. This is the top ten after all, and supposedly the best crop of contestants ever, so say TPTB.

The best ones tonight were definitely Rocker Dave with Michael a close second. Carly was awesome as usual but needs to dial down the nervous breakdown-ness.

If there is any justice in this world, Chikezie will not be the one to leave the show tomorrow. Based on tonight’s performance “Alone,” pardon the pun, Ramiele should exit but we all know that she is here to stay. KLC has more lives than Garfield and Morris put together so we are stuck with her, too. So I fear for my man Chikezie. That is my prediction anyway.

“So it is written. So it shall be done…” (Yes, DeMille’s classic Moses movie is still fresh in my mind.)

Quotes:
Ryan: Are you feeling better? …did you have the flu?
Ramiele: No, I didn’t have the flu; it just went bye bye…
Ryan: The voice went bye bye? Well, let’s get it back back … vote for Ramiele if you want to see her back back…

Simon (to Jason): That was the equivalent of busking outside the subway station.

Ryan: Lots of pots stirring here at the judges table tonight. Randy with extra security please when he leaves…

Ta 'til the 'morrow...