The Top 6 Take on Broadway

April 22, 2008

Happy Earth Day everybody. Is anyone else over all this tree-hugging stuff already? No? Maybe it’s just me then.

Another of my non-favorite things is on our favorite show tonight – Broadway tunes. Two words: Whoop. Eeee.

The only thing I know about Andrew Lloyd Webber is that he was Mr. Sheffield’s nemesis on The Nanny. Perhaps I’ll be enlightened this evening.

While I am on the wagon train of beyotchiness, here’s another thing - I miss Casual Day Ryan. He is all suited up on every single episode now. At least he still has a great sense of humor and is open to band-leading lessons from Rickey.

Lord Webber has written music for plays such as Cats, Evita and Phantom of the Opera. He has won every award on this planet. During his video, he states that he enjoys working with young people and has coached similar up-and-comers in Britain.

Randy and Simon believe that these are going to be tough songs to sing, and Andrew is in the audience tonight. But no pressure. Ryan reminds Simon that if in tonight’s critiques he says that someone is “Broadway,” it will be taken as a positive instead of derogative review.

First up is Syesha who is excited as all get out that they are finally doing something that she can show some personality on. Andrew thinks that she can be funny and witty and non Whitney-like for a change. Tonight she looks absolutely stunningly beautiful and she’s most definitely in her niche. She sings a song called “One Rock and Roll Too Many” and this is the very best Syesha Mercado ever. I am a Syesha convert! This young lady is a star in her own right and she OWNS the stage. Randy agrees that she is “in her element” and could be a Broadway star right now. Paula says that she “brought the house down.” Simon tells her that she’s “very sexy” and comfortable in this genre. Hopefully the dreaded Going First curse will not follow Syesha tomorrow night.

Jason gets the chat stools with Ryan and they talk about when Jason used to play drums. He knows naught of this Broadway biz and is like Uhhh and Wuhh. Andrew says that he can’t really grasp a dude with dreadlocks singing “Memory,” but here we are. Our lovable long-haired boy does his very best with what he has, meaning that he is just the same today as every other day. It’s a bit breathy and boring but acceptable for him. Randy says it was a “train wreck” musically and did not work at all. Paula thinks it was a “wise choice” because usually women sing this song. She compares it to Joe Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful,” which prompts Randy to agree that Castro is indeed beautiful. Simon says that it was like a kid being forced to sing at a wedding which is kinda true.

The Nanny who is Not Fran Fine, Ms. Brooke is next. Andrew explains the song “You Must Love Me” from Evita to her, which makes her sing it better. He is impressed with her and says she is a “natural actress.” Brooke looks lovely tonight but is very nervous and out of her element. She messes up and starts over. Bless her heart, she gets better but flubs a couple more lyrics. Madonna, she is not. Randy liked her vulnerability but not her vocal. After a thousand year pause, Paula tells her that she should “never start and stop” but kudos on her emotional breakdown. Simon declares he loves Live TV, and picks up on the tension and the straining of her voice. He says that he would have done the same thing that she did, with the re-start. Poor Ryan says the show must go on.

Next on the chat stools with Ryan, is Little David. He gets big hugs from random teenage fans. Can you say uncomfortable? Andrew thinks that it’s rare for someone to do a different take on his songs and begs David to open his eyes when he sings. Tonight he sings a song called “Think of Me,” and we watch him very closely to make sure he doesn’t close his baby browns. The song is long and kinda boring but he sounds good, in his word-fumbling way. Randy calls him “Archie” and tells him that he is “the one to beat.” Paula pronounces it practically perfect in every way, like the Disney character that he is. Simon doesn’t think it was one of his best performances and plays the “forgettable” card. Although my affection for David has not waned (much), he seems to be robot-like these days.

It seems that Carly was going to sing a ballad this week, but Andrew put a stop to that nonsense with the quickness. He says with her big ol’ voice, she should do “Jesus Christ Superstar” and she agrees. Anyone who reads my ramblings knows that I am a die-hard fundamentalist Christian, so I have a problem with this musical. It depicts my Lord and Savior as “just a man” and He was more than that. Getting past that issue, I have to say that Carly sounds fabulous tonight. Randy agrees it was “definitely good” and that her outfit “is kinda fly.” Paula likes that it was “so unexpected.” Simon surprises the heck out of everyone by saying it was one of his favorite performances so far this evening. A delighted Carly holds up a Simon Loves Me (this week) tee shirt for the world to see.

Rocker Dave and Andrew seem to have a blast together during practice. Andrew says to pretend that he’s a gorgeous 17-year-old girl but Dave is like, ewww jail bait. The song he is performing is called “Music of the Night” and it’s another big bold ballad. Evidently there are no emo versions of this song out there, because David plays it pretty straightforward. He can do anything. Randy says it was an “amazing vocal performance” and I have to agree. Paula compliments how well-rounded he is and likes his “beautiful instrument.” Simon prefers his David Cook on the “gritty and raw side” (don’t we all) but says he made the most of it. Silly Ryan’s attempt at Broadway singing is actually not as awful as Castro’s. But please don’t quit your day job(s), okay Ryan?

Recap time… Both Brooke and Jason will most likely be in bottom three tomorrow. It would be a shame for Syesha to leave at this point. She was by far my favorite tonight. (Oops, hope I didn’t jinx her.)

Quotes from tonight:

Ryan: By the way Rickey, you’re conducting; you’re not a member of the Pussycat Dolls tonight.

Jason (about the song “Memory”): I didn’t know a CAT was singing it.

Andrew (to Rocker Dave): You’re supposed to be singing to the most gorgeous girl that you’ve ever seen in your life; regrettably I am not that person.

Very cool end to the show with the judges wearing Phantom of the Opera masks. ‘Til tomorrow when American Idol will just be a “memory” for one contestant.