The highly electrifying placard reads that SE7EN REMAIN. The last time I saw 7 stylized like this, there was a severed head involved. There must be an easier way!
Last night we learned that Scotty was feeling love down to his toes, James said they will stop degrading us, Haley could have had it all, Jacob was praying for much too much, Casey was getting very physical, Stefano was under a spell he can’t break, and Lauren was telling her dreams to a scarecrow.
Our judges, who are still trying to overcome criticism of not being hard enough on the contestants, seem to be in good spirits. Randy's patriotic in a US flag shirt. Jen’s been shopping at the Pretty Woman shoe store. Steven is waving his grandma’s scarf as if in surrender.
Ryan calls the seven to the stage so they can soak up the applause. Back in the Idoldome tonight is the one and only David Cook, winner of season seven. There is that number again. Also Katy Perry, blech.
Now it’s time to talk to the judges. Randy is biting his nails. Jen doesn’t want a girl to go home, and Marc’s not mad at Casey over the kiss. Steven promises to keep the censors nervous.
Split group numbers again because it seems to be working better than the large group songs. First up it’s Jacob, Stefano, Lauren, and Haley with “Hey Soul Sister.” I suppose this song is a good example of 21st century fare since it’s been played on the radio once every five minutes since 2009. As usual with the group numbers, the singers sound better individually than together. It’s mostly in unison which is good because attempts to harmonize might cause “lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains.”
The Ford video for this week is probably in honor of Earth Day which is tomorrow. The pretty song is called “World” and My Kid Tru says it’s by Five For Fighting. The video shows them lassoing clouds and watering the desert to make water for kayaking. It's a "past looking at the future" to encourage recycling because that is the bandwagon these days. “Careful what you wish for” indeed.
Next, the trio of Casey, Scotty and James perform Cold Play’s “Vida La Vida,” otherwise known as “live the life,” which is certainly true for these three guys. This is another one of those songs that has been played right to death and probably has more meaning behind it than a king who has lost his kingdom. Everyone from Lady Gaga to Taylor Swift has covered this iTunes commercial. Our own Idol trio of cuties don’t really add anything new or exciting to it, but it’s an okay way to pass the time. (At least they're not doing a cover of "Friday" like everyone else in the world lately!)
It’s back to the couch for some Interaction Time. Jacob still claims that he is not a diva y'all and is plotting his revenge. Scotty has a cupcake named after him here in NC, but he doesn’t mention the tornadoes that devastated our state last week. Casey shows us a fan-made portrait of him and his dog that is rather creepy.
Casey and Jacob have to stand up right where they are; no time to walk to center stage. Jacob explains for one hundred years about how the music track messed up while he was singing last night. So if he is in the bottom three it’s because it didn’t look in the mirror. Or something. Casey is reminded of his “cult hero” status and the spontaneity of his soft lips. He is safe and Jacob is sent the to B3 stools. Blame it on Marc Anthony; he taught them about the ear monitors in the first place.
In the wonderful season of number seven, the luminous David Cook was pronounced the winner. He is back tonight to perform a song called “The Last Goodbye” from his upcoming album This Loud Morning. That is a good title. I still like his self-produced pre-Idol indie CD better than anything he’s done on (or after) the show. On stage tonight he looks as good as ever, even though his hair is more Heat Miser than usual. The new song is catchy with a neat riff. Tru says that it reminds her of Daughtry’s “No Surprise.” (Chris is her very favorite Idol contestant ever.) After the performance, David chats with Ryan about a fundraiser he is doing in DC for brain cancer. It is good to see that he is as supportive of that cause as ever, but I miss the “AC” on his guitar. David’s gorgeous mom Beth is in the audience and wants to meet Steven. The rocker judge gives her a hug to her delight.
Next we get to see the Idol contestants have some fun fun fun (partying partying yeah!) They go to a Dodgers baseball game. Scotty plays baseball so this means more to him than the others, especially meeting sports legend Tommy Lasorda. They also go bowling at Hollywood Bowl, and none of them seem to have much experience. Haley is kicking the boys’ butts and enjoying every minute of it. Then they are off to the spa where guess who has a blast getting a facial – diva Jacob of course! Lauren also enjoys the pampering. James pranks Stefano on the massage table and we haven’t seen this much faux gay behavior since the Ryan and Simon days. Scotty is worried that his old-fashioned southern home town boys will be making fun of his face mask and manicure.
Now it is time for more results. Lauren, James and Stefano come to center stage. Ryan reminds us that Lauren needs to stop holding back and doing fluff songs. And maybe lay off the tanning, you look like an oompa loompa. The original artist that James covered is almost as impressed with James as Durbs is with his own self. Stefano is still basking in the positive review from the judges last night, but alas he is bottom three. He seems okay with that and practically bounces over to the silver stools. Lauren and James are both safe.
Haley and Scotty are called next. The Garner teenager is reminded that everyone in America is okay with his same old-same old except the three judges on American Idol. Haley has stepped up her game so much that she is a bonafide contender. Not so much her coral top/green mini/yellow heels outfit though. Haley is of course the one that is sent to the silver stool, but before she even gets comfortable Ryan tells her that she is safe. We are thrilled at this news. So now it’s between Brother Lusk and doe-eyed Langone.
There is still the spectacle of Ugh Katy Perry to get through. It’s a song called “ET” and while I like alien stuff as much as the next science-fiction geek, this song stands for “extra terrible.” The horrid Gaga-ish costume and creepy backup dancers are bad enough, but then a rapper dude comes out in a furry vest. Tru says it’s Kanye West. Is he there to tell Katy that Beyonce is a better singer than her? Because duh. She is not even singing, she is lip synching and not even doing a good job of it. When it’s finally mercifully over, Tru and I ponder how some of the most unworthy people on this planet become superstars. “Different DNA” indeed.
Like any other die hard Idol fanatic, I read behind the scenes information on the internet. That is how I know that the Katy/Kanye mess was pre-recorded, not done Live Right Now on Stage Tonight. They try to keep the illusion going by having Ryan interview Jacob and Stefano backstage. Such deceit on this show sometimes, man.
There is more time to kill so Ryan drags it out by asking the judges for their opinions. Jen reminds them that getting ousted now is not the end of the world. Randy wants them to focus on what they want to be when they grow up. Steven is 100% Switzerland.
Finally we learn that Stefano is the one going home. His Howie-lookalike dad is in the audience and he seems to be sadder than Stef about this. James is visibly upset also. Stef can’t stand still while watching his goodbye reel that shows him in various stages of hotness and adorableness.
He already had his farewell song prepared, the disco version of “Lately” that he did in the earlier rounds. It has the fitting lyric of “this time could mean goodbye.” He sings better than ever and before he hits the last note, James scoops him off his feet and gives him a twirl. The end of another good bromance.
Quotes:
Ryan: Nice shot of Casey and Randy there.
James: I think it’s my form.
Scotty: At the end of the day I’m going to be the guy with the best looking nails.
Next week, the remaining six singers will take on Carole King songs. Maybe Casey will do “Jazzman” but that is probably too obvious. Until then, try not to be a “victim ready for abduction.” Seriously, I think even the SyFy channel is ruined for me now!
