It’s “Hello Good-bye” to One of the 12 Tonight

March 12, 2008

In a clever yet shameless cross-promotion, the cartoon Horton and his friends open the show by gathering around a TV to watch American Idol.

We expect to hear the theme from Close Encounters when Ryan comes out onto the new high tech stage. After intro’ing the judges, Ryan tells us that Jim Carrey is in the audience tonight. He is in his Horton elephant costume and although the entire plug is an eye-roller, he is very funny and entertaining.

Ryan forewarns us that next week will be Lennon-McCartney Songbook Redux. I suppose it could be worse, but we wonder why they are double-dipping like this. Maybe they did not recap the moola spent on the rights to those tunes.

Horton the elephant was more engaging that the Top 12’s medley of Beatles’ hits. Yikes, it’s a mess with only a few of the singers doing very well. To their credit, they don’t have a lot of time to learn these songs and practice the cheesy stage choreography. Only Brooke looks happy to even be there.

There is a camera shot of stubbled Sanjaya and his sis in the audience, cheering the contestants on, and My Kid goes wild.

Recap of last night… Chikezie being awesome, Carly coming together, Michael being sleepy, Syesha getting us into her life, Jason falling in love, Brooke letting it be, Ramiele missing her friends, Cabaret D. not dancing with another, Kristy countrifying, Little David blowing the words, Amanda kicking butt, Rocker Dave lamenting the lonely people.

Time for the first of the bottom 3 to be revealed… Carly is safe. Michael is safe. Jason is safe. Syesha is bottom 3. The curse of going first strikes again.

Syesha looks tired and sad but the judges agree that it would suck if she is the one going home tonight. Although she’s not been my favorite by no means, she has grown on me this week. Yes, I am fickle.

For some reason, each of the bottom 3 will sing their song again tonight. Got to fill that entire hour somehow. Syesha adds an unexpected woooooooohoooooo at the end of her song as if to say, “Eat your heart out voting public!”

The first Ford faux-mercial is next and it’s about politics and kissing babies and confetti and the contestants looking spectacular in suits set to the song “The Distance.” Wow, these kids clean up nicely.

To pass more time, we see a video about how much the “Idol Experience” has affected the contestants. They get to see movies before they even come to the theaters, live their dream, rub elbows with celebrities who now know their names, and they get to be “that guy.” Because I am somewhat crazy, watching these kids have so much fun makes me all teary. Sad knowing that 11 of them are NOT going to win, and right now there is something to enjoy about each and every one of them.

Another bottom 3 is to be announced… Ryan calls Chikezie down to the stage but it’s a psych out, he is safe. Amanda is safe. Dave and his grandpa hat are both safe. Kristy asks for her microphone before Ryan even gets a chance to tell her she has to sing.

Kristy cheerily disses her own song and she seems to be a sweet natured girl. She is not as gangly or googly eyed while singing tonight but it does seem to go on for “8 days.” Simon lectures about the whole country issue and it’s hard to tell if it’s directed at Ryan or Kristy. My final analysis is that if this song had never been recorded by The Beatles it could be a hit on country radio today. Final answer.

For the first time ever, we have “interactive idol” which is quite possibly the lamest thing I have ever seen since Drew Carey took over on the Price is Right. Ryan totally ignores the older callers and goes right for the youngsters. I feel very discriminated against and plan to write an angry letter. Even My Kid says it’s rude. Because we are bored now, we notice that Paula is rocking some incredible hair extensions this evening.

Special guest Katharine McPhee sings “Something” while mega-producer David Foster plays the piano. My Kid and I vehemently disagree about Kat - I think she sings lovely and is very pretty; she thinks she is a poseur and still resents that she made it farther in season 5 than her hero Chris D. She snarks on the “tin foil” dress and says that if she had a matching hat she could signal the aliens. My Hubby is too busy drooling and does not add much to the conversation. Kat sounds and looks as beautiful as ever and kudos to her for changing the pronoun to HE in the “Something” song.

Now we’ll find out who is the last one in the bottom 3. Will it be … Jim Carrey?? Ryan has to shoo him from contestant row. Little David gets a chance to redeem himself, to mother earth Brooke’s delight. She seems happier about him than her own self being safe. LOVE her!! Ramiele will not join Danny, who is in the audience tonight. Cabaret David is the last one in the bottom 3 this week.

Mr. Hernandez does a much more low-key version of his song than last night and he looks incredible in the black shirt. Heavy sigh. My Kid says, “What a waste” and I must agree. Even though I guessed it correctly, I still don’t think that he is the one who deserves to leave the show tonight.

Can we just keep all 12 of these singers and vote off one of the judges?? Ryan says NO and after one hundred and twenty million years, we finally get to…A commercial break.

All three judges agree that this is an appropriate decision but Paula says she’s never seen a “more stronger” bottom 3. Those hair extensions sure weigh heavy on her cerebral cortex. (I love it when I can get a Buffy quote into a paragraph.)

Syesha is finally told that she is safe. After 29 million votes, Kristy is safe and Cabaret David is going home. He bravely says that “Things happen for a reason” and we will not be seeing the last of him.

The new good-bye song is “Celebrate Me Home,” sung by Ruben Studdard. David’s farewell montage reminds us that he is delightful and cute and goofy and he will be missed. Just goes to show that one overly theatrical performance (combined with juicy scandal), can get ya the boot way too early.

Tonight’s quotes:
Ryan (responding to viewer comment regarding throwing down with Simon): “I say load in the mud, I’m ready.”

Simon (response to caller who asked if Americans or British are more talented): “I will concede American singers have the most talent, however, on the judging panel – The Brits.”

Regarding the bottom 3:
Ryan (to Paula): “Where’s your head right now?”
Paula: “On my shoulders.”

Oh snap!