The Top 12 “Work it Out”

March 11, 2008

The long-awaited “Beatles Night” is here, but I do not understand the hullabaloo about AI finally getting rights to their music. A few of their songs were used in last year’s finale: the “just 17” song, the Sgt. Pepper song, “I read the news today oh boy,” the not-really-about-LSD song, the theme from The Wonder Years, maybe more that I don’t remember.

At any rate, we (the viewing audience) are not credited for having a long attention span, so maybe The Folks That Run The Show do not either.

They’ve changed the show’s opening and it’s really cool; as My Kid says, the figures look more people-like and less robot-like. I am glad that the music is the same; some things just don’t need changing. If there is life on other planets, even they recognize this theme music.

Speaking of outer space - there is a new stage and set as well and it looks like something from Titan A.E. (Or maybe a very large mobile phone store.) Very cutting edge and it is about time, too; they needed to re-invest those crazillions of dollars they are generating from the Idol machine.

Ryan has sticky-up hair and when he smiles it gleams just like in his toothpaste commercial. “Like a minty fresh snowstorm in heaven” indeed. Poor Josie is so upstaged. But I digress…

Two hour show tonight which means lots of filler fodder. Ryan shows us the “mosh pit” full of pretty girls and then teases the judges for awhile. He picks on Simon about buttoning his shirt. Seacrest is very high energy tonight; maybe his next commercial will be for Red Bull?

They bring the contestants out onto the stage so that we can all ooh and aah at how fabulous they look. Traditionally, this is the week that the stylists get to do their makeover magic.

We are reminded that this is not Beatles Night per se, but rather Songs from the Lennon/McCartney songbook. Okay. Then it’s a video montage of black and white footage and photos of the Fab 2 in various stages of being creative, talented, and high. More number one songs than anyone on the face of the planet, and we should all do the Wayne’s World “we’re not worthy” bow. I am very neutral when it comes to them, as they were pretty much before my time. When I started listening to pop music, Paul was already in Wings and John was with that Yoko person.

Anyways, here we are… flash forward to American Idol 2008. All three judges seem to be Beatles purists so they expect to hear good renditions of “enduring” songs. Funny moment when Simon gets a DUH into the conversation.

Since a lot of folks only tune into the show at this point – the Top 12 – the contestants will reintroduce themselves in the pre-performance video. Must pause here for a commentary: people who don’t watch the show until this point really do not know what they are missing. What irks me is when those who know nothing about the contestants feel they have a right to complain about them. These viewers don’t know the back-stories and haven’t made the connections yet, so they’re missing out on a lot of good stuff! It’s like being plunked down in the middle of season two of LOST and thinking that you will understand what the heck’s going on. Uh, you won’t! So – ye who have not taken the time to get to know these kids in the top 12? Shut yer pie hole about ‘em. (Standing down from soapbox now and moving on.)

First up, in the spot of doom, is Syesha who reminds us that she is a college student who is an actress on the side. Music is her passion so she’s taking a break from the other activities to pursue her dream. She looks absolutely stunning tonight; the stylists have groomed her ‘fro into a lovely sidesweep and it looks great. If AI doesn’t work out, All My Children should give Jesse & Angie a long lost daughter and let Syesha portray that role. Tonight she sings “Got to Get You Into My Life” and it starts a bit rough, as if she has just learned this song five minutes ago. She works it out by the end and this is my favorite performance of hers so far. Randy calls it an “Earth Wind & Fire arrangement” and the look on Syesha’s face is like Who? Paula can’t pronounce her name correctly, but recognizes the early pitch problems, and that “midway through you found your zone.” Simon tells her she looked nervous but that “it was better than alright.” One thing that bugs me about Syesha is the fake southern accent that she puts on during critique time. Real southern accents are bad enough (believe me, I got a big’un!), why fake one? At any rate, she has a beautiful voice and is a gifted young lady who deserves to make it through, in spite of her all-that-ness. Hopefully the curse of Brandon Rogers (remember him in the spot of doom’s top 12 last year?) will not haunt her tonight.

Cool Chikezie is up next and he’s dressed in full Carlton Banks mode tonight. He chats with Ryan in the space stools about working security at LAX. They giggle about setting up Paula when her bags are checked and no she’s not carrying any illegals. Chikezie also tells us that he fully expected to go home instead of Danny, because Noriega is such a “lovable guy.” Well, Mr. Eze YOU are adorable also, so you deserved to stay. In his vid he speaks of his job, childhood and his mom’s vast knowledge of pop music. Tonight he sings “She’s a Woman;” he starts off sitting down next to the fiddle player and it’s bluegrassy and toe-tappy. And then BAM! Chikezie my new favorite man, rocks it out with the fals’ and scatting, the whole nine yards of singing goodness. This is one of the best performances I’ve ever seen on this show in seven years. My Kid and I both double love him!! The judges agree. Randy says that he was “thoroughly entertained” and Chikezie “smashed it.” Paula likes the way he started with the O Brother Where Art Thou feel and turned it into rock. To Chi’s delight, Simon says that he “thought you were terrific!” Crazy Ryan chases him around the stage in all the excitement, rubs Chi’s head and even gets actual sweat on his little metro self. Ryan has a hard time catching his breath to call out Chikezie’s phone number. Weird times in Idol land this evening.

Next up is Ramiele who via video, we see working in the sushi restaurant filling cups with soy sauce. Naturally, My Kid is hungry for Chinese food now. Ramiele and her family all seem like delightful people, and tonight she will dedicate her song to the contestants who’ve been voted off. I’m sure she’s talking about Danny mostly, since she went from mini to major meltdown when he left. She starts out on the stairs looking up at the camera in the ceiling. Seems like it would be hard to sing like that. Anyways, she’s doing “In My Life” which is slow and sad and seems to be the kind of song that you hear at funerals and graduations. Her voice is so lovely and delicate but the song is somewhat coma-inducing. This is more heartfelt than her performances before though, and she seems to actually be connecting to the lyrics this time. Also, she looks very pretty with perfect hair and makeup. The white belt is as wide as the TV and distracts from the outfit. Nevertheless, it’s much better than the style choices from previous weeks. Randy says that “it was kind of pretty, but it was also kind of pretty boring.” Paula reminds her that she’s cute, an “amazing singer” but that she’s “holding back.” Simon says that he was “bored to tears throughout the entire song.” Sorry! Poor Rami pouts prettily and needs not to fear joining her cast off friends in the ousted section of AI history. Four words: Jasmine Trias final three.

Dreadlocked Jason is next and he talks about college life, being laid back and easygoing, and hanging with Moon Unit and Dweezil. Maybe not that last part but close enough. Flying insects buzz around his head during the video. My Kid thinks he is just the cutest thing, especially with the little yellow flower in his hair. I accidentally proclaim that I want to be twenty again, to which My Kid says ewww. Tonight he sings “If I Fell” and he is one of those who seems like he learned this song five minutes ago. He keeps it simple, nothing special, just singing and playing the guitar. Jason is not one that needs the vocal gymnastics that some of the others do. When his voice cracks a bit at the end, he grins as if he meant to do that. My Kid goes wild, as she loves the voice-cracking notes. Randy says that he didn’t like the switches in the melody but Paula disagrees. She says “what is so special and unique about you is that I do feel your heart.” Simon did not like it as much as last week but deems him okay. He adds that “it was all a little bit student-in-a-bedroom-at midnight” which Ryan finds hilarious for some reason. Jason just stands there patiently while Simon/Ryan banter part 48029 takes place. Jason got his start in MTV’s Cheyenne so during the commercial, I add season one of that reality show to my Netflix queue. Not for me, for my teenaged daughter, okay? No, really. I mean it. It’s for her.

Tattooed Carly sits with Ryan in the saucer-shaped twisty stools, chatting about the excitement of top 12 things. Her roommate is Amanda and they get along just peachy. My Kid wonders why Carly’s tattoo looks like Amy Winehouse but I don’t say Who? I have the evil website TMZ bookmarked, so even I know who that is, geesh. In her vid, Carly talks about living in San Diego but misses Ireland. Once a week she gets to sing at the pub where she works as a bartender. Tonight she does the Aerosmith version of “Come Together” which is a song that has some nasty toe-jam lyrics to it. She is raw dynamite on this song and you can tell that she is no newbie. She can sing her tattooed Irish hiney off that is for darn sure. No matter the controversy, which is such old news now, Mrs. Smithson is a contender. Her hair looks great but am not sure about the micro-mini outfit. Royal blue is a good color on Carly though; shout out to the stylists once again. Randy says that “there wasn't a note out of tune” and calls it a “stellar performance.” Paula agrees and says that “I felt like I was already watching a star.” Simon pronounces that finally she has chosen the right song and even plays the Kelly Clarkson comparison card, to Carly’s delight. It’s strange how they flash to Carly’s husband and friends in the audience but there’s nary a facial tat’ to be seen. Mainstream America welcomes you, Carly’s hubby. (That was my sarcastic voice.)

Next up is Rocker David who talks about growing up in a “quasi-quiet” suburban town. He likes being a bartender/musician but we’ve got a feeling his beer slinging days are over. Chris D. never went back to being an auto-parts-store guy, did he now? Tonight David is doing “Eleanor Rigby” sometimes known as the “all the lonely people” song. There is something about him that is a bit off-putting to me; it’s as if he knows he is all that, it’s not a secret to him. My Kid says that this is a sign of a TRUE rocker and loves him so I dare not criticize lest I get frogged. She says that he reminds her of Adam somebody, the lead singer of Three Days Grace. To his credit he does a great job with this song, even though the jumping up and “shout out to his own bad self” was not the action of a humble guy. Randy reminds him that he’s a rocker (duh) and Paula calls him “the dark horse.” This leads to mundane time-wasting chatter about thoroughbreds and stallions and donkeys. When Simon finally gets a turn, he says that for the second week running it was “brilliant.” David gets a lot of flak about his hairdo but it’s one of the few things I like about him. Guess it still bums me that no one has mentioned that David’s “Hello” moment was already covered by Incubus. I mean Hello? Daughtry got burned on the whole “Walk the Line” by Live controversy. Yeah, still bitter. Sue me.

Brooke is next and she is just the sweetest lady in the whole wide world. You can not help but love her; she is genuine and just plain NICE. She talks about being a nanny and how much she misses the twin girls she used to keep. Those nanny-ing days are so over for our Ms. White. Tonight she sings “Let it Be” while playing the piano and while it’s not vocally perfect, it is heartwarming and special nonetheless. She is a talented musician and My Hubby deems her his favorite contestant this year. Brooke tears up at the end which makes us love her even more. In the audience, a family member holds a sign that says “we heart brooke (but we miss our nanny)” and under it, there are pictures of the twins. I completely lose it and have to leave the room. Thank goodness for DVR; after rewinding, Randy says that he loves “the fact that you have all of this conviction.” Paula talks about the heart again and the “emotional connection that makes people fall in love with you.” Simon proclaims that for the third week in a row, Brooke was great and “one of the best performances of the night.” Brooke is on the same level of lovable-ness as Melinda Doolittle and Vonzell Solomon of seasons past. She listens to the critiques while standing barefoot (you can’t play piano in shoes, everyone knows that). Funny moment when Ryan gets her high heels for her which leads to much teasing by Randy and Simon.

To cheese things up a bit, Cabaret David is up next. Speaking of cheese, he talks about working in a “pizza bistro” which must be code for “night club of gayness.” Despite his past, David is a good singer and hopefully the voters will not be influenced by the stories all over the internet. (Yeah, this coming from the princess of all prudes!) Tonight David looks very handsome in a vest and tie combo. Unfortunately, his rendition of “I Saw Her Standing There” is even cornier than when Blake and Jordin did it at the finale last year. And really now – “her?” Hmmm. Anyways, he is over-the-top although his voice sounds okay. David, bless his heart, is so “cruise ship” that we expect Captain Stubing, Doc, Gopher and the rest of the crew to show up any minute now. In David’s video he says that he chose this song because he learned about it in a “Beatles 101” class in college. This performance has Producer Manipulation written all over it. Randy agrees about the vocals but that “it was a little too overdone.” Paula echoes that but adds that “you’re a brilliant singer” which is true. Simon plays the “rabbit-in-headlights” card to everyone’s delight but he sticks with that analogy. Poor David just stands there and takes it in stride. Adding fuel to the fire, Ryan mentions the “stressful week” and emphasizes his “song choice.” David says he will do better next time and here’s hoping he will get that chance.

Next is Amanda, still My Kid’s favorite singer this year. She is rocking some serious hair extensions tonight but these don’t look like they came from the McPhee/Scarnato recycle bin, thank goodness. Amanda actually cracks a smile as she chats with Ryan in the metal egg carton stools about what folks do in between acts. Someone must have mentioned her lazy lounge-about during last week’s performance show. Funny how EVERY SINGLE THING that these kids do is recorded and then played back via youtube a trillion zillion times. In Amanda’s vid she once again talks about being a nurse and riding a Harley. She admits to not being a Beatles connoisseur and that she just learned her song this week. Tonight she sings “You Can’t Do That” and she definitely puts her own spin on it, as promised. Although it’s not as good as last week, it’s way better that the mess she made of Kansas. Because I am old-fashioned it bothers me that she doesn’t change the lyric to fit a female singer, a’la when Joan Jett did “Crimson & Clover” back in the 80s. Randy says she “took a Beatles song and you brought it to like a southern bar and rocked it out.” Paula says Amanda’s a star and she’s “blown away” by her. Simon proclaims that it was slurry and shouty but adds that “you are like a breath of fresh air when you come on.” Amen to that. Too bad we also had to endure Paula vs. Simon #986352.

The extremely handsome Michael is next and in his vid he talks about being a musician, but to pay bills he’s been a tennis coach. He was exposed to The Beatles while growing up in Australia and I could listen to him talk all night. Just one time I wish he’d say, “That’s not a knife; THIS is a knife.” (Love that Crocodile Dundee.) Anyways, tonight Michael does a simple version of “Across the Universe,” a song that has special meaning for him. My Kid informs me that this is also the title of a movie starring the young gal who’s dating Marilyn Manson, to which I say ewwww. Great way to ruin my Michael Johns moment, thanks. Ergh. So Michael is not pitch perfect on this song and it’s not doing a lot for me, but as long as I can look at him it’s okay. If I close my eyes and just listen it’s not as good. We keep remembering his Hollywood audition and keep waiting for him to live up to that vocal. The arm-waving from the mosh pit is more off-key than Michael and slightly disturbing. Randy says “it was okay for me, a little sleepy.” Paula forms the somewhat coherent but strangely stilted “it takes an inner strength, an inner quiet confidence to be able to stand center stage with a microphone and do nothing but sing brilliantly.” Wow. Simon agrees with Randy and calls it solid but monotonous and then totally forgets “the Irish girl’s” name. And Poor Michael has the Mandisa Shiny Head Syndrome but that’s okay.

Kristy is next and via video, she talks about being a small town country girl who loves horses. We knew this already because when she performs she has the “pony stance.” Anyways, she is lovely and genuine and has a big family that seems very happy. I really like this girl and hope the best for her tonight. Kristy looks pretty this evening in the shiny top, but the run-thru-the-combine blue jeans are awful. My Kid proclaims that it’s the style, but I know naught of these things. At any rate, she turns “8 Days a Week” into a country song and while it’s not completely bad, it’s not great either. Bless her heart, she is blinky and bouncy and a bit manic during her performance. This tune would be quite catchy if it had just been written today, but as a classic from the almighty Beatles, it’s not working. We wait for the judges to rip her to more shreds than her holey jeans. Randy actually starts out saying that “there were some parts about it I liked.” Paula disagrees and plays Simon’s well-used “I didn’t get it” card. This critique is an example of how the judges sometimes double-speak which is very frustrating: “Get out of the box/get back in the box.” Simon pronounces that “it was horrendous” and says “you sounded like Dolly Parton on helium.” Ryan actually does try to call them on the “you told her to do country” BS but it turns into yet another free-for-all with some serious Ryan snarkage.

Last one tonight is adorable Disney David who looks as sweet as ever in his video. He speaks of being a normal high school student, and they show clips of his mom dancing crazy and his dad playing a trumpet in his tee shirt. It’s confusing when David says he’s not familiar with Lennon/McCartney when he sang “Imagine” just a couple weeks ago. Did no one tell him that this was the same Lennon? Anyways, tonight he does the Stevie Wonder version of “We Can Work it Out” and for the first time, he is not excellent. He starts out on the staircase and before he gets down the steps, he’s fumbling over the words. Very disappointing that he blows the lyrics a couple more times, which is the kiss of death at this stage of the competition. (The aforementioned Brandon Rogers anyone?) There’s no fear that he will be eliminated, as his fan base is huge. Tweeners all over the country are on their Hello Kitty phones with their friends, “OMG! We must save DA. Or the world will end!” Just a reminder that although he’s been performing for years, he is JUST 17!! Randy says that it was “not on point” and “it felt forced.” Paula dinged him on forgetting the lyrics and Simon proclaims “that was a mess.” Before the night is over, the conspiracy theorists will be saying that this was a deliberate act to avoid the pimped-too-early curse that plagued Mindy Doo last year. Prepubescent chin up David!

Recap time… Everyone looks extra gorgeous tonight, and no one was really horribly howling-dog bad, so it’s hard to decide who might go home.

Kristy may get the sympathy vote since even Paula was hard on her. Since Syesha went first, she will more than likely be in the Bottom 3. The online polls and office pools have shown Chikezie at the bottom and that would be too darn bad. My prediction to exit tomorrow is Cabaret David, based on his extra Velveeta-badness performance tonight.

Quotes:
Simon (to Rocker David): “If this show remains a talent competition rather than a popularity competition, you actually could win this entire show.”

Tomorrow we find out who gets the “Ticket to Ride” all the way back home…