The Top 8 Dream of Innocent Angels Over the Rainbow

April 8, 2008

Some folks like to call American Idol’s “Inspirational Songs” episode an evening of treacle and dirge. Not me! I love me some glurge, the more molasses-coated the better. It’s like dessert for the soul.

Maybe I am just still riding high from a wonderful week-end. Our Amazing Kid was baptized on Sunday, and we are very proud of her.

Ryan reminds us that tonight is only Part One of this week’s shows. Tomorrow night is the biggie – Idol Gives Back Two with all its glory. I personally CAN NOT WAIT and have purchased a brand new box of Puffs Plus for the occasion. Why? Because anytime I get to see Chris Daughtry it makes me cry with joy! (And then there’s the sad stuff too, of course.)

Tonight it’s all about the final eight and the looming threat of Paula’s ta-tas. (Ya have to see ‘em to believe ‘em.) Before each performance we will see via video each contestant’s reason for their song choice.

Perth, Australia’s finest Michael takes the stage first. He has been in America long enough to love it but still retain just enough accent to be sexy. The neck hankie though? Not so much. He is singing Aerosmith’s “Dream On” because it’s all about dreams and the fulfillment of them and how ONLY in the U.S.A. can people such as “Bratney Smears” be a pop star. It’s weird but I always thought that Steven Tyler meant this as a sarcastic song as in “yeah right dream on.” Perhaps that is just my own jaded interpretation. No matter, as Michael sounds great and hits every note on the money, even the high ones. Randy is not feeling it for some reason, but Paula is and then some. She gushes about his awesomeness and her Chihuahuas and her wonder bra. Simon calls Michael a “wannabe(ISH) rock star” and oh how I wish someone would throw something at his head. It would be hard for Cowell to say unkind things if he was in a coma, now wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, our favorite Aussie turns into a Babbling Brooke Doll as he questions the reason behind the two guy judges’ harsh words. I can sum it up for ya in a nutshell – Simon and Randy are guys. You, Mr. Johns are a much hotter guy. Ergo, they don’t like you and will nitpick. (This same scenario can be flipped when Kristy Lee comes to the stage.)

Up next is Syesha who forgot to use Matrix Sleek Look again. Before she sings, she chats with Ryan on the metal stools about little Ramiele and life without her. Bored now. In a true “oh no she ain’t!” moment, Syesha says in her video that she is doing Fantasia’s AI coronation song “I Believe.” There are several things in life that totally fray my last nerve. Here’s a short list: people who drive under the speed limit; skinny folks who whine about being “so fat;” braggarts who will not STHU about their latest overpriced gizmo; and current AI contestants who perform songs done better by former AI winners, especially swan songs. The verses are too low and do not sound good at all, although she does the chorus well enough. Did she not watch the show last year when the judges ripped LaKisha a new one for performing this song?? Maybe she did and she’s too arrogant to care. The note at the end is so high that Paula needs to check on her Chihuahuas. Randy and Simon are on the same page that Syesha did not make a “connection” the way that Fantasia did back in the day. Paula and her “girls” liked it though in a big “shining moment” way. Syesha is puzzled by the not-loving of her and questions them incessantly, but too darn tootin’ bad. Once a coronation song is done, they should ban it forever and ever, amen.

Everyone’s favorite dreadlocked one is up next. I never noticed until recently that Jason reminds me of Clifford the Muppet. In his vid, he talks about how he is doing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” but not in the fabulous way of Kat McPhee. Because she did that one to death back in season 5. He is doing a version by some Hawaiian dude called “Iz” complete with ukulele. Oh goody. My Kid is teary-eyed and says that this is the song that played when Dr. Green died in ER. I have to take her word for it, since I stopped watching when Clooney left. Anyways, Jason sounds rather nice on this song and it’s an enjoyable performance. My Hubby wants to know when the hula dancers are going to join in, heh. Although I am kinda over Jason, it’s hard not to be intrigued by him as he does not reveal a lot of himself in his performances. There is still an aura of mystery but is it because it’s hidden well, or because there’s nothing there? Points to ponder. At any rate, Randy calls him “molten hot” and raves for a thousand years. Paula mentions his “definitive sound” which only makes sense if she means that he sounds the same all the time. Although Simon was unsure of this version of the song at first, he pronounces Jason’s rendition to be “fantastic.” Simon’s wearing his green-colored-glasses and hearing ka-chings.

Ergh, Kristy is up next. We learn in her video that she is finally going to reach into her country diva box of magic tricks, and is performing a song by the awesome Martina McBride. Martina sang the song “Anyway” on the show last year when she was a guest coach. Kristy’s version of this very good song is pleasant enough and she actually does a good job with it. I know, right. If I had never heard Martina sing this song, I’d be a Kristy convert. My Hubby needs no conversion and is making ooky goo-goo eyes at the TV. She does look prettier with the wavy hair, and there’s no denying that she is “built like a sh*t brickhouse.” (Hubby’s words, not mine.) She definitely made a very clever song choice. Who can resist the underdog singing “You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in/That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang/Sing it anyway.” Randy attempts to mention pitch problems but the Cooks must have a contract out on him because he backtracks. Paula babbles and bursts and spills out and is just silly. Simon is mesmerized, tells her she looks like a star and that her performance was “very good.” Not sure what he’s seeing that’s different with her look, as she has done the shiny top/tight pants combo many times. As always, her smile lights up the auditorium.

We come back from commercial but before we can get back to the singing, we see that Merry (or is it Pippin?) is sitting in Simon’s lap. This show is really strange sometimes.

Rocker Dave is up next. It was all over the internet that due to high blood pressure, he was rushed to the hospital after his performance last week. This situation was addressed by David and Ryan on the show. What they have not revealed publicly is that David is also dealing with another heartbreaking family situation. His brother Adam is battling cancer, so prayers going up for him. Tonight Dave is singing a song by his favorite band Our Lady Peace called “Innocent.” I have never heard of this group or this song so have no basis for comparison. The first verse is very low and his voice doesn’t sound very good. When the song changes to a different key, it gets better and then he totally rocks it out. He goes overboard with the Taylor Hicks-ing into the audience, but such is the life of a rock star. He then holds out his hand for the camera to see that Give Back is written in the palm. My Kid goes wild but almost comes to blows with her dad, who says that Dave was showboating. Either way, this performance was half-n-half. At least that is what Randy and I both thought. Paula loves everything and everyone, even the spiky points of Rocker Dave’s hair. Simon throws out the “pompous” card and disses the white marching band jacket that David is wearing. Once again, Mr. Black Tee Shirt is giving fashion advice.

My favorite gal Carly is up next and she is pulling a Paris Bennett this week. She’s doing Queen’s “The Show Must Go On,” which I have always considered to be a gloomy song. Not one that you’d think of for “inspirational week,” for sure. In her pre-performance package she says that she saw this song performed at Live Aid, but it seems like she’d be too young to remember that. Tonight Carly has definitely discovered the joy of volumizing conditioner but her outfit is not the most flattering. She is a very pretty young lady and could be stunning with just the right combination of tops and bottoms. And long sleeves. My Kid says that she could create a better ensemble for her on Fashion Solitaire, so she goes off to do that. While I like Carly and enjoy hearing her sing, she is not doing justice to Freddie. Her voice is all over the place and so is she. Randy is on the fence and says it wound up just “okay.” Even Paula admits that there was not a connection between Carly and the audience. Simon makes an exaggerated point to tell Carly that she looks great, and then hits the nail on the head by saying that she came over as angry and “out of control.” He also predicts that she could be “in trouble” after that. Carly just smiles and tells him that she caught the expression on his face when she was singing and it threw her off kilter.

Every week thus far has been “inspirational” for Little David. He says that he has looked forward to this theme for a long time and has struggled to come up with just the right song. Tonight he picked a winner with the song “Angels” by Robbie Williams. My Kid says that Jessica Simpson also recorded this song a few years ago. (I try not to let my eyes roll at the mention of her name, but it conjures memories of that horrid HDTV commercial.) Anyways, tonight David plays the piano and sings the song brilliantly, as is his way. Again I have no way to compare his version, but I adore David and enjoy this performance. Some of the lyrics sound strange coming from tiny David; what does he know of “loving angels instead?” Isn’t everyone an angel in the world that he lives in? Regardless, he does a wonderful job and everybody loves him, because he is like sea shells and cookies and Pooh. Randy certainly does and even says “it was crazy.” But I think he meant that in a good-crazy and not bad-crazy way. Paula’s circulation has cut off in the corset and tight dress so she simply says “fantastic.” Simon was not overjoyed with the vocal but agreed with his song choice. Mr. States-the-Obvious tells David that he will “sail through” to the next round and has no worries. Based on the screams from the fans in the audience, we know this already.

The final spot of the evening goes to America’s favorite piano-playing, guitar-strumming Brooke. Unfortunately, she does not do either of these things during her act tonight. In her video, she talks sweetly about loving the Carole King version of the James Taylor classic “You’ve Got a Friend.” Brooke looks pretty tonight with Kris Munroe hair, but the tent-like hippie dress has gotta go. She sings the song in her typical Brooke-like fashion; very pleasant, nothing dramatic. For some reason she looks like she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown at any minute. She and Carly need to go out for drinks, albeit Brooke’s would likely be diet ginger ale. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. How can we not want to give her a hug? She is just so vulnerable. Randy throws out the same comment that he made to Ramiele last week about “not being mad at you.” I hope this does not jinx our Ms. White. Paula goes on and on about her sister and loving the song and her boobs or something. She uses the “definitive” word again; I am beginning to think that each judge has a Word Of The Day calendar. (Simon’s favorite is “busking,” in case anyone has been keeping up.) Simon declares that her performance was like a “pleasant walk in the park.” Ryan tries to cuddle Brooke as she is nervous and shaky and needs a Twinkie. Or twenty.

Recap time and I place Michael Johns as the front runner, no matter what the male judges say. I am with Ms. Abdul on this one. Minus the Victoria’s Secret props of course.

Ryan quickly reminds us that elimination night will be Thursday since tomorrow is IGB2.

My predication to go home on Thursday is Syesha, based on the asinine choice to take on Fantasia. Carly’s blaming-Simon tactic may put her in danger, too. Just to be consistent, Kristy will more than likely bring her sticky note back on elimination night.

Quotes:

Randy (to Michael): “This show is about being the best singer, undiscovered talent we can find, not about dreams.”

Paula (to Randy about Kristy): “I think you should leave the pitch moments alone now.”

Gather up loads of popcorn and Kleenex for tomorrow, as it’s a 2 ½ hour show. Egads.